Writing. Culture. Politics. Wandering.
please don’t panick. We’ve had our differences, but I know you love me. I hope you know I love you too. But as you read this, know that I have left. These past few months we’ve had plenty fights over my decision, but it really is my decision. I understand your concerns, and I do share them. But I know that I have to do this. I realise it sounds almost stupid, but it is my life. I am grateful that you gave it to me, but it is up to me to make something out of it. My way.
I thought it would be better this way, I did not want to leave with doors slamming and shouting back and forth. I realise this is not the best way either, but considering our differences that is not possible anyhow. So at least we each have our space now, and we can both cry a little without things escalating.
I really will miss you both. I also hope that I will be able to come back, to visit at least. That will be some time either way, because basic training will be a full 10 standard months.
So yes, I received my application acceptance letter today. And I am going through with it. By the time you read this I will be off-world. A few weeks from now I will be standing in front of the Tribune taking my first oath. It is something I have to do, it is inside me, it’s not some talk on the news or some teacher manipulating my brain. I know that I am a soldier, or rather, that I will become one.
What will become of me after that, I do not know yet. Yes dad, there is a life after. And yes, you can rest assured that I am not going to settle for the mud. I know my talents, I know my limitations, I know what I want. That is not arrogance, it’s just me.
Maybe one day you will be proud of me, not as a son, but also for making my decisions. And should I not return, do not hate each other or me, try to find it in yourselves together to accept my decisions for my life.
I love you both,
P.S. Yes mum, I have a towel with me …
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